Helicopter

High above, it prowls
Circling and scanning
Body thudding with a gruesome heartbeat
The propellers shred the skies
Compressing, squeezing, ripping up the clear night sky
Throwing down the heavens to cram into our eardrums
Children listen, wide-eyed, and yank their covers up to their chins
The noise becoming the backdrop of their nightmares
Parents wake to the throbbing sound and the scared whisper of their child
Above the city, the black fly buzzes
Restlessly circling, haunting, hovering.

The Girl Raised Wrong

This is the childhood fear
Of a sweet little girl raised wrong
To wake screaming from nightmares of sirens
And shudder away from men in uniform
To hide under the stairs at a knock on the door.
Now, as a grown woman
She walks the city streets with frozen eyes
Deep inside the child still sobs
And fear as ancient as god himself
Still tears her joy from lips that dared,
Just once, to smile.

Alice Out of Wonderland

I refuse to be Alice
Imprisoned in the maze of my own head
I will not drown in my own tears
Or be a pawn on the Queen’s chessboard

It was this way of thinking that brought me down the rabbit hole
It was self-pity that made me drown
If I let everyone else tell me where to go I’ll go nowhere
Stuck in Wonderland until forever meets its end

I refuse to be Alice
Let that girl die and rot away
She was the slave of other people’s desires
Not a single shred of happiness in her servants’ heart

Instead
Let me be Ivy, and wrap around your heart
Bind and suffocate, suck you dry and leave nothing but paper skin

Or
Let me be Babydoll, as cute as can be
The picture of innocence with a fist like steel

Please
Let me be your worst nightmare for one night
I’ll throw away the bones of Alice and embrace my new body
I will not pity myself
I will not hate myself

I refuse to be Alice.
Let me strong; let me be monster.