Exhausted

When people describe me, the first thing they say is
“She’s the happy one”
My character is defined by cheerfulness
But no-one can be happy all the time.

I can also be miserable,
Morose, melancholy.
The only difference between me and everyone else
Is that I shove that sadness somewhere where it won’t bother me

Everyone needs an optimist; but sometimes
Holding up a smile
Is more exhausting than simply being sad.

Tonight Let’s

Tonight, let’s stay indoors and watch old movies
Let’s curl up together and spill burnt popcorn down the sofa
It doesn’t matter what we watch
I just need the time alone with you

I’ve been feeling so lost lately
Tonight, let’s do something pointless
I need you to remind me who I am
Please bring me back to life

Extract From My Diary

“But in other ways, maybe I’ve just realised that I can love you and not have you. Maybe I love you enough to let you go. Maybe I love you enough to let you live your life and to not be jealous of your other friends; not be jealous when I see you touching strangers. I do love you, but you’re not mine, you always belonged to yourself, and me trying to contain you was wrong. Fly. Live. Be happy.
And maybe if you love me enough, you’ll come back to me.”

Superficial

Our world is all about the superficial. We’re judged on our beauty. Commercials brainwash us into thinking that if we are beautiful, we will be happy. The world convinces us that all you need is looks and sex and clothes and your life will be complete.
Sometimes, I lose all hope in humanity. I’m just so fed up. I hate the way I never feel comfortable in my own skin, hate the way strangers judge me based on my clothes, hate the way people are hurting themselves, damaging themselves, killing themselves… because they feel like they don’t fit in. It’s not right. The world is drunk on money and shallow, meaningless things that don’t lead to happiness but frenzied obsession.
Relationships, too – those meaningless ones that are full of pleasantries and social etiquette but don’t mean anything. ‘How are you? Did you have a good weekend?’ – asking questions but not caring, not listening, to what the answer is.
I want to know people. I want to know about their relationships with their parents, what they’re passionate about, those little things that they hate. Who their role model is. Who they are irritated by. I just want to crack open someone’s head and read their mind, find out what makes them tick. I want people to feel like they can talk to me about what bothers them. I want people to feel content with themselves and to be able to be themselves around me.
I want to find somebody who will talk about everything, from the mundane to the magical.

Freedom is…

…when an insomniac can walk the streets at night and feel completely safe
…when everyone loves the way children love – blind to colour, race, gender and sexual orientation
…when you can be yourself, and know that people will not judge you
…when you can disagree with people no matter what their status is, without fear of persecution
…when you can make your own decisions based on unbiased knowledge that is freely available to you
…when you can choose who you want to represent you and speak for you