These are the things I never told you.

Sometimes I wish I was free
My head is clearer without you
Yet my shitty heart is relieved when you come home

You are extreme
I can’t find safe middle ground
Destroy me by day, adore me by night

Before you came I was alone
I had control and a good life
Now I’m yours, everything I touch fucks up

Lingering Promises

The promises I made to you linger on
They wrap around my limbs and pull me in the direction you believe is right
I can feel them, like thin wires on my flesh
Their gentle tugging, so insistent and plaintive
Your voice calling in my ear; guiding me down a path that I can’t see the end of
I am yours to command

When I gave you my words and bound myself to you
It came from trust – it came from love
But I hardly recognise you now
It’s the same face but something changed inside you
The way your wear your body is different, wrong somehow
How can I trust that the direction you take me is right?

I think about breaking the wires, of ripping them from my limbs and walking free
Of choosing my own path without the nagging guilt
But at the same time, it is the only think that links me to you
And this irrational love controls me