Alice Out of Wonderland

I refuse to be Alice
Imprisoned in the maze of my own head
I will not drown in my own tears
Or be a pawn on the Queen’s chessboard

It was this way of thinking that brought me down the rabbit hole
It was self-pity that made me drown
If I let everyone else tell me where to go I’ll go nowhere
Stuck in Wonderland until forever meets its end

I refuse to be Alice
Let that girl die and rot away
She was the slave of other people’s desires
Not a single shred of happiness in her servants’ heart

Instead
Let me be Ivy, and wrap around your heart
Bind and suffocate, suck you dry and leave nothing but paper skin

Or
Let me be Babydoll, as cute as can be
The picture of innocence with a fist like steel

Please
Let me be your worst nightmare for one night
I’ll throw away the bones of Alice and embrace my new body
I will not pity myself
I will not hate myself

I refuse to be Alice.
Let me strong; let me be monster.

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