Time to Think

I use “I’m busy” as the excuse for everything
It’s true – my days are long and I keep myself busy from the moment I open my eyes
To the sound of my light switching off and the darkness in my bedroom.

But the truth is, I have to keep busy
I must keep my mind preoccupied so I am unable
To think of things that will take control of me and drag me down
For its only when the darkness of my bedroom holds me
And I can do nothing but wait for sleep
That the terrible thoughts invade

Descend like vultures and rip the muscle from my bones
And gouge my eyeballs from my sockets to wring them out, let my tears fall as rain

It is when I am idle that I am vulnerable
Keep me busy, and keep me safe
Fill my head up with work, stuff and things
So I can forget myself; else I destroy myself

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